At an age where one should have discovered most of the answers, I still find myself asking the age-old question, “What in the hell am I doing?” It seems my life has taken me from writing poetry, to joining the military, to studying metaphysics (new age and old), to Native American ceremony, and now the art of oriental medicine. Apparently I haven’t figured out what I’m supposed to be doing yet.
This evening in class we were talking about the history of Chinese herbs, which date back 4,000 years. My mind went to the old medicine women, the images of a witch’s brew, and sacred plant medicine ceremonies. As expected it didn’t stop there. Thoughts continued on to why am I studying this now, do I keep learning about Chinese Medicine or Native American medicine, or just keep working at writing proposals for an engineering firm?
Words from inside; “Never promised it would be easy. Remember when you studied Astronomy?”
Thanks, I think.
Sometime during the night, as I wandered among the stars, I found myself in a hotel wearing my old g-ma house dress and no shoes. Not quite sure why I was there but it was clear that I had gotten lost and was unable to return to my room. I continued to walk up and down stairways but nothing seemed familiar.
A little while later I got into a car/truck with a young woman. Could have been my daughter, but when you’re dreaming it can be difficult to tell. [grin] Got the truck, definitely a truck, started and put it in drive. EXCEPT it would only travel in reverse. I never did get the darn thing to go forward. Nearly went off the edge into a lake, and only got mad once when I realized that this ‘event’ was a do over–driving in reverse that is.
I’m sure there are many of you who could interpret this dream for me, and feel free to comment. I woke up thinking “Hey, I’ve already looked at my life and I can’t be moving backwards. I’ve grown so much, haven’t I?”
I am looking forward to seeing where this evening’s travel take me.