Monday, the police came by
and picked up my neighbor for 72-hour psych hold. I wasn’t home but they talked to my daughter.
“We are concerned about her fixation on your son. We need your mom to call us too“.
I need a guarantee that she won’t retaliate when she gets back home.
Tuesday, my boss quit. Wednesday, her boss took me to lunch to sweet talk me into taking a leadership role. Thursday I had over 60 emails in my ‘in-box’ and by day’s end had processed over 100. I was supposed to have a week to download her brain into mine. I think they were talking in dog years.
“We need you to take over and keep everything running until we can bring someone else in“.
I need more money and vacation time.
I’ve been lucky in my life. Tried a lot of things that were good for me, and many more that were not. I am lucky because I’m still alive and am not an addict. The conversations I’ve had with good friends about that subject have taught me a lot. I have learned that my ex-husband (now deceased) did not waste his life by drinking. I learned that you don’t start over, that you simply begin a new day–just like everyone else.
I do find it difficult to understand why one can’t put down the addiction. Why one can’t simply stop. Logic tells us to stop yet we continue. Our minds preview the movie day after day hoping that we’ll get the message and still we don’t.
This land of electronic communication has become one more addiction. We rush to the component that allows us to “reach out and touch someone” the fastest. We keeping checking to see if someone has sent a text or an email, or has commented on the random thoughts we posted just 5 minutes ago.
I am compelled to peek into the lives of others.
I am compelled to speak of my life through bits and bites versus the tongue.
A net has been cast over my ‘self’ and I am without scissors.
Tomorrow is another day.
Every day or so we put our
emotions on paper.
At that moment we are all-consumed with anger, love, sadness; wrapped up in that little space called now. In that moment we know that we will never forget. And yet I can’t seem to remember why I was so sad. It was my daughter’s birthday and she was pregnant with my grandson.
10.16.2009 Journal Post
Today the words are hard to find. Too many tears have gathered in my head and now I am with nothing other than emotion. Every movement seems to take much more effort than is available. “I gave at the office”.
Sure hope the office sees just how much. Maybe on Saturday when I return.