Tag Archives: sadness

In Anticipation of an Anniversary


ashesAnticipation.  That feeling that something is about to happen;
a chill runs up the spine and the heart skips a beat.

I sit here changing themes, reading other posts, kissing my grandson. Doing just about anything I can to keep from thinking about the 13th. Ah jeezzz, next year it falls on a Friday. I’m glad I’m not too superstitious, but it wouldn’t surprise me if mom decided to make that the day she shows back up just to see me wet my pants.

She left almost two years ago. Seems like so much longer–March 13, 2012. So much has happened in our home, we’ve found jobs and lost them, gained new pets, started new businesses, and pulled ourselves out of depression.

I was telling a friend about how the house feels empty. He was on his way to help doctor someone so we guessed the spirits had left to help out a little. It was eerie though. No sounds, no chattering of voices, no dreams. Even the clock that my aunt gave her stopped chiming. Mom always said that was Kit letting her know she was still around.  About four days later the clock played its little tune…

Why do birds suddenly appear, ev’ry time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky, ev’ry time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be close to you.

Haven’t heard it in a while.


When Emotions Rise

When Emotions Rise

Faced with the possibility of death, emotions rise causing a surge of energy coursing through my body.  Fear, Sadness, Anger.

Exhausted and bruised, my head falls to my palms.

I am so tired of fighting. I am sorry I yelled.